Monday, June 4, 2007

Jokes

Doctor's Affair

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back."

Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today and I don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and read it and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack and died.

So the wife picked up the cord and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - two with sausage and meatballs, two without."

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African Roulette

An African Minister visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian Minister. For three days, the African was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian Minister said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger.

"This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both the Minister breathed a sigh of relief. The African Minister was impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Minister was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African Minister treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African Minister spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African Roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.

The African Minister said, "These women are the most beautiful members of our tribes. Any one of them will give you oral sex, so take your pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African Minister answered:"One of them is a cannibal."

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